As we watch Eliot Spitzer skulk off into the sunset, we bid him a not so fond farewell and prepare to turn a new page. Monday (or sooner), we’ll turn our attention to incoming governor David Paterson.
But before we move on, here’s one last bit of Spitzerrific humor, courtesy of commenter E5:
Hilarious!
A few random morning-after thoughts on the Spitzer scandal:
As hinted at in yesterday’s post, I bought champagne for everyone at last night’s Manhattan Libertarian Party meeting to celebrate the downfall of The Sherriff of Wall Street. Really cheap champagne. You probably shouldn’t expect much from a $15 bottle of Russian bubbly, but it was even worse than it sounds. Especially since it was preceded and followed by pints of Guinness.
My schadenfreude over Client 9’s demise is tempered by the realization that soon-to-be Governor David Paterson will be no picnic. Granted, Paterson is not the bully that Spitzer is (Sonny Barger isn’t the bully that Spitzer is), but he’s more likely to be Sheldon Silver’s lapdog. At least Eliot offered some very modest resistance to our state legislatures wild spending and tax hike schemes. Paterson can be expected to roll over and give Silver and Bruno everything they want.
The New York Times has an excellent roundup of all the Spitzer jokes from the late-night comedians. David Letterman was truly inspired:
“Do you think it’s too soon to be hitting on Mrs. Eliot Spitzer?” David Letterman asked his New York audience on CBS. And then he was on a roll:
“The new scandal here in New York City, just breaking a couple of hours ago – Eliot Spitzer apparently involved in some kind of prostitution activities. You know what that means — hookers. And right about now, Spitzer is huddling with his advisers to develop a drinking problem.
“Did you happen to see the press conference? Very dramatic. Eliot Spitzer was there. He had yellow crime scene tape draped around his pants – crazy.
“Here’s what happened. It was one of those sting deals and they caught Spitzer – Governor Spitzer — with a wire soliciting a prostitute. I’m thinking, ‘Holy cow, we can’t get Bin Laden … but we got Spitzer. We got Spitzer!’ He apparently paid her an extra 100 bucks not to call him ‘Spitzer!’
“But here’s the lesson, ladies and gentlemen: This is why I always wear a fake mustache and pay cash. It’s the only way to go, if you’re going to get in trouble.
“The thinking now is that the governor may step down now to spend less time with his family.
“He’s caught now soliciting a hooker, but thank God, on the bright side, it did not involve an airport men’s room.”
Later, Mr. Letterman featured a Top 10 list of Eliot Spitzer Excuses:
10. “Oh come on, like you were never involved in a prostitution ring.”
9. “Hookers is fun.”
8. “Just trying to help the economy.”
7. “Have you ever been to Albany?”
6. “It’s part of my new MTV prank show, ‘Spitz’d.’”
5. “Haven’t been myself since Roy Scheider died.”
4. “Uh, tainted beef?”
3. “Whether it’s a hooker or your wife, you’re always paying for – you married fellas know what I’m talking about.”
2. “Wanted to be known as the Charlie Sheen of politics.”
1. “I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago.”
And the City’s politicians and bureaucrats just like him better. And why shouldn’t they - he’s providing tax revenue that helps pay for their salaries and their pensions. Of course so does your tax money - but you have no choice and Bruce Ratner does. Don’t like it? Who cares? You are just an ordinary citizen. Bruce has friend’s in the government.
Eminent Domain is no longer about replacing slums with hospitals (if it ever was). Admit it - It’ s now just the latest trick politicians use to feed their unquenchable thirst for more money and more power over every aspect of your life.
Michael White has a great piece “Columbia Pulls a Kelo”in yesterday’s New York Sun (online version) that points out how there is money to be made in the business of seizing what you thought was your property.
A few actually seem to believe the process is moral or productive. Mayor Bloomberg once commented that potential federal limits on eminent domain would limit NYC’s ability to control it’s own future. Our mayor seemed to miss the point that eminent domain rather limits property owner’s ability to control their futures. Our mayor is famous for thinking he knows best how we all should live.
But even good soldiers in the war against personal freedom seem to admit that the process by which government seizes people’s homes and businesses is flawed at best. In August, Supreme Court Justice Stevens lamented his Kelo position saying that “the free play of market forces is more likely to produce acceptable results in the long run than the best-intentioned plans of public officials.” DUH! Deputy Mayor for Economic Development Dan Doctoroff - the guy that said the free market and the interests of the city were incompatible - has now admitted that he never should have agreed to let Bruce Ratner’s Atlantic Yards project ignore the City’s ULURP process. OOPS - None Killed. A few people lost their homes but who’s counting? We have to assume the government knows best right? If they don’t like the law - they can just get the Supreme Court to “clarify” it or ignore it altogether.
It almost looks as if they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore. They will take your home or your business - because they can. Big government costs big money. Somebody has to sacrifice. And you can bet it won’t be Bruce Ratner, or the New York Times, or Columbia or Michael Bloomberg or Dan Doctoroff.
I love this site Cops Writing Cops. As we’ve documented before, cops don’t even try to hide the fact that they consider themselves above the law. Those renegades who actually think the law should apply to everyone get nominated by their “brothers” for the Dick of the Month Award. Naturally, many of New York’s Whiniest share their sob stories at CWC:
I am an active police officer in the NYPD and was driving down to Florida on March 4th 2007 which was the first time I have driven to Florida, not realizing in time the sign changed 65 to 45 i was slowing down and was nailed doing 61 in a 45 by Officer Brown 2416 (the summons copy is light) of LAWTEY PD Bradford County FL. I had to pay $185 which I didn’t have on this avoidable summons. This officer could have cared less that he was writing another active police officer, I go out of my way to take care of other cops no matter where you may be visiting from.
Gee, he thinks a speedtrap is unfair — but only when it catches a fellow officer.
Here’s another gem:
While employed with the NYPD I was traveling on I-10 in the Florida panhandle in May of 2003 and I was accompanied by my wife and at the time 2 year old son. There was no traffic and it was a bright sunny day. I was pulled over by a Florida Highway Patrol Officer named Trooper Love. I’ll never forget that name because of the love he showed me. when he got to my car I identified myself as a New York City Police officer… As we walked back I asked him if he collected patches because I had a NYPD patch from the detail that I worked for. He said that he doesn’t need that he just needs my driver’s license. I obliged and he began to write the summons in front of me. At this point I asked him if perhaps he could lessen the speed, to which he replied “Can’t do that. Judge round these parts frowns upon that.” … Trooper Love definitely belongs in the Hall of Fame for Dick Cops!!
In other words, Dick Cop = Cop Who Actually Has Some Integrity.
Hat tip: Hit & Run
The International Association of Fire Fighters (IAFF), New York’s Firefighter’s union published a video this week that sums up one small part of the myth that Rudy Giuliani is a competent leader. You can see it here. In 13 minutes firefighters and family members present first hand, a few facts about Giulaiani’s failure to provide effective radios 8 years after the first World Trade Center bombing and after repeated political maneuverings to hand a no-bid contract to friends of Giuliani’s administration. Of course this is just the tip of the iceberg. In The Grand Illusion, The Untold Stroy of Rudy Giulaini and 9/11, authors Wayne Barrett and Dan Collins present the case in page after page of shocking detail. In summary Giuliani allowed chaos, indecision and ego to reign supreme thoughout his administration awarding the radio contract to political supporters Motorola despite the fact everyone knew their radios were defective, despite the fact that at least one other bidder, Ericsson, was eager to bid and tried to do so.
Taxi drivers, hair-braiders, street vendors, rock’n'roll fans, pot smokers, the Port Authority all know that Giuliani repeatedly victimized those he thought couldn’t fight back in favor of image, politics and campaign contributions.
Unless you enjoy being easily fooled, the video and the book are “musts” for anyone considering pulling the Giuliani lever in the primaries or the general election.
Ron
Rich Cooper reimagines Choppergate as an updated Becket, with Eliot Spitzer playing the part of Henry II and Joseph Bruno as the Archbishop of Canterbury. I’ve never seen the 1964 film, but apparently King Henry relies on his henchmen to “rid him of this meddlesome priest,” just as Spitzer tried to use his henchmen to rid himself of Bruno.
Cooper is spot on when he points out that the underlying scandal — Bruno using a government helicoper for “political” purposes – is a canard:
Why do Governor Spitzer, let alone Senator Bruno or Democrat Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, have to travel outside Albany at taxpayer’s expense? Aren’t the bill signings, facility opening ceremonies and “fact-finding” visits really just trips to promote themselves, their party, and state power in general.
The distinction between official and political is false and artificial. The official visits are largely propaganda exercises.
It’s really no different than former governor Pataki running blatant campaign commercials under the guise of “public service announcments.” To paraphrase that other Englishman who is currently holding court at Giants Stadium, every breath they take, every move they make is about self-aggrandizement.
