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Nice Work If You Can Get It

I have a friend who was a longtime employee of one of the big federal agencies in Washington, DC. He used to entertain me endlessly with his tales of epic government waste and incompetence. For the last few years, he’s been in the private sector, so I had to settle for the slightly less epic tales of corporate waste and incompetence.

This week, my friend returned back to his life sucking at the government teat. Working for the House of Representatives, no less. Here is an excerpt from the email I received from him this morning:

This place is great!  Yesterday’s cafeteria theme was Belgium so I had mussels in white wine, haricot verts and beef bourguignonne for $3.89.  Today’s theme is Russia so I’ll have some South Ossetia with a side of Abkhazia.

And then a few hours later, I got this follow-up:

Yes the House has one of the best deals in the FedGov.  My pension is based on my highest salary and years of gov service and I actually got a raise from the private sector which is unheard of.  I started with five weeks of vacation plus three weeks of sick leave and they encourage compressed work schedule as well as telecommuting.  Today’s lunch was salmon with sweet and sour cabbage and braised root veggies for $4.32.  Excellent stuff and it must be heavily subsidized.  This place is unreal.  There is no way any normal male congressman could remain faithful in this environment.  Life is good here.  I can only wonder what the hell it’s like on the Senate side.

I’m guessing the Senate side is like a scene out of Bob Guccione’s Caligula. All paid for with our tax dollars.

  1. September 13, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    Well, if I wasn’t such a longshot Libertarian dark horse candidate and could actually get elected, I’d try to get them all fired from those cushy jobs and have the cafeterian changed into a non-subsidized McDonalds. But I would keep the eyecandy around, I am a sucker for a pretty face…

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